Children's Grief and the Healing Power of Play

No child is too young to be affected by grief and loss. Even infants can sense powerful emotions around them and notice changes in caregivers and routines. Although even very young children can understand "all gone," children do not fully comprehend the meaning of death and the permanence of loss until around 5–7 years of age. Healing-centered practices, such as play, are a powerful means of helping grieving children to make sense of their situation and foster healing and resilience.

Play benefits grieving children in two specific ways:

1. It offers relief from grief.
2. It helps bereaved children work through difficult emotions (Bowen et al., 2025).

Play has the power to make grief and loss bearable. Playful interactions can provide children with enjoyable moments, either alone or with others, that offer a respite from the feelings connected to grief and loss. Play also provides children with the agency and ability to explore topics and skills they want and need to explore, including death, loss, and grief. When adults help create the right conditions for children's self-directed and imaginative play, children can safely explore and express what's on their minds.

Create conditions to support the healing power of play:

• Embrace a relational abundance mindset, recognizing that children need safe, stable, and nurturing relationships with their adult caregivers and their peers. Positive relationships are foundational in establishing a sense of belonging and necessary for children's play to emerge.
• Provide sufficient time for play and playful resources, such as puppets, dolls, figurines, blocks, rescue vehicles, doctor kits, art materials (drawing tools, paper, paint, and clay), and developmentally appropriate and culturally responsive books about life cycles, emotions, death, loss, and grief.
• Encourage (and teach) playful movement. Strong emotions can create stress in the body, resulting in feelings of tiredness and aches, and even causing headaches. Movement activities can help children make adjustments that improve their physical and emotional well-being.
• Observe children's play and cultivate curiosity. What do you notice and wonder about children's play? Who are the players, and what are they curious about? What are children saying and how are they expressing their ideas and feelings? Does the play repeat? What meaning-making do you see happening? How does the play make you feel? What additional supports might be needed?

"Play is the serious and necessary occupation of children; it's not just a pleasant hobby or a frivolous means of spending nonworking hours. Freud considered our life-force as made up of work and love, in equal measure. For a child, the formula would better be stated as 'play and love equals life'. Being both work and love for young children, play is absolutely essential for their health and welfare (American Journal of Play, 2009, pp. 122-123)."

Access the resources below to deepen your understanding of children's grief, loss, and healing-centered practices that support well-being.

• Children's Grief, Loss, and Healing (online course)—Better Kid Care
• Death, Loss, and Grief: Understanding How to Support Children (online course)—Better Kid Care
• Movement Activities for Grieving Children (handout)—Dougy Center
• National Alliance for Children’s Grief (website)

References

Bowen, E., Field, S., Reich, C., Romano, B., Brucker, J.L., & Voiklis, J. (2025). Supporting Bereaved Children: A Guide to Getting Started (part ii). ACM Trends #8.2. Knology & Association of Children's Museums. 

American Journal of Play. (2009, Vol 2, No 2). The Importance of Fantasy, Fairness, and Friendship in Children's Play: An Interview with Vivian Gussin Paley.