Leader in You Part 4: Self-Mastery - How to Thrive and not Just Survive

On social media, we often see messages about "thriving and not just surviving" or "be the creator of your life." With the seemingly endless demands of modern life and pressure to uphold both our professional and personal commitments, this can seem impossible at times. However, an attitude on survival can be very draining and unhealthy. In extreme cases, not addressing these concerns and attitudes may lead to burnout and health problems (Kahill, 1988).

As part of your self-development, you need to learn how to manage yourself in a complex world to avoid burnout and excel as a leader. Many have used the pop culture mantra "You can't pour from an empty cup." Day (2000) indicated that leadership development should first begin with intrapersonal development. He included self-awareness and self-regulation in this definition.

We will be exploring the concept of self-mastery. Self-mastery both involves understanding yourself and your place in the world, as well as being attentive to the moment (Ladkin, 2008). We will help you gain skills in self-mastery through the lenses of mindfulness, priority setting, and time management. We will define each concept. The questions that we provided will help you to assess yourself in each area.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness involves paying attention to what is happening around you and within you, without judging the experience (Kabat-Zinn, 2012), or choosing to pay attention to your moment-to-moment experience. Are you truly present as you go about your workday? Use the following questions to rate yourself. These questions were adapted from Powers-Barker, Carter, and Worthington's (2018) work.

• Do I take time to notice how I am feeling (emotionally and physically)?
• Do I rarely break or spill things by accident?
• Am I rarely distracted?
• Do I notice my surroundings as I walk or drive around?
• Do I catch myself "running on autopilot"? Am I truly aware of and paying attention to the task at hand?
• Do I think more on long-term goals than the tasks I am completing in the present?

If you answered "no" to most of these questions, mindfulness may be an area you could improve upon.

Tips for how to apply mindfulness in your daily life

Mindfulness strategies were adopted from Kabat-Zinn's (2012) & Powers-Barker, Carter, and Worthington's (2018) works.

• Take a few minutes each day to do a body scan. Determine if any areas need extra attention or if you can relieve tension.
• Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions. Do not judge yourself for negative emotions. Give yourself a few minutes each day to process things.
• If you find yourself often distracted by thoughts or emotions, try to bring yourself to the present moment. Focus on visual and physical elements of your surroundings.
• Adjust your goal-orientation mindset. Try to enjoy the day-to-day rather than getting caught up in the "rat race."

Priority Setting and Time Management

Priority setting and time management go hand in hand. Once you practice mindfulness and start paying more attention to yourself and your daily routine, you will be ready to more critically examine how you manage your time. This will ensure that your days are accomplishing what is most important to you.

We adapted the following questions from several articles (Borysenko, 2010; Forbes Coaches Council, 2009; Joseph, 2019). Ask yourself these questions to determine your competence in setting priorities and managing your time.

• Do I know what my values are? Do I spend time on things that are important to me? Am I able to say "no" to the things that are not?
• Am I comfortable with the amount of hours I work each week?
• Am I making enough time for leisure?
• Am I making enough time for relationships? My family? My significant other? My friends?
• Do I practice self-care? Do I eat healthy, get a good night's sleep, workout regularly, and have a spiritual life?
• Do I make time for silence and reflection everyday?

Tips to apply priority setting and time management in your daily life

If you answered no to the majority of these questions, you likely need to spend more time on setting priorities and managing your time. Here are some tips to make some improvements:

• Develop a list of core values. Try to consider the top 3 things that are important to you. Try to work these things into your calendar. For example, if your value is "family," make sure there is scheduled time for that on your schedule.
• Learn to say no. Do not let people take advantage of you. If you are being asked to take on something outside of your job or family responsibilities, determine whether or not this will give you joy. If the answer is no, check out our difficult conversations article.
• Take time to reflect at the beginning or end of the day. Research suggests that spirituality can improve well-being, give more purpose to your work, and make you feel more connected to your work community (Karakas, 2009).
• Schedule time for fun, relationships, and self-care. Once you've set aside this time, do not make appointments at this time unless it is an emergency. If you compromise on this once, you are more likely to do it again. Break the habit of not making time for yourself.

Moving Forward

We hope this series helped begin your process of self-discovery and leadership. We hope you've enjoyed discovering the Leader in You. Check back soon for articles on different leadership styles and writing your own leadership philosophy.

References

Borysenko, K. (August 9, 2019). Simple strategies to enhance your work-life balance.

Ladkin, D. (2008). Leading beautifully: How mastery, congruence and purpose create the aesthetic of embodied leadership practice. The leadership quarterly, 19(1), 31-41.

Forbes Coach Council. (July 31, 2019). Advice for workaholics: 12 helpful ways to attain work-life balance.

Joseph, S.V. (July 31, 2019). 4 ways to improve your work-life balance.

Kahill, S. (1988). Symptoms of professional burnout: A review of the empirical evidence. Canadian Psychology/Psychologie canadienne, 29(3), 284.

Karakas, F. (2010). Spirituality and performance in organizations: A literature review. Journal of business ethics, 94(1), 89-106.

Powers-Barker, P., Carter, S., & Worthington, T. (2018). Mindful wellness. Ohio State University College of Food, Agricultural, and Environmental Sciences.