Empathy: More Important Than Ever Before

What is Empathy?

In a recent article, we discussed the importance of emotional intelligence in leadership. Empathy, while related to emotional intelligence, is a unique and difficult leadership competency that fewer people possess. Empathy is not simply the ability to understand others' feelings or sense their emotions. True empathy is the ability to understand peoples' emotions by mentally simulating their situation and understanding their emotional response based on their experiences, not your own (Coplan, 2011). In other words, we remove ourselves from the equation and look at the situation through the lens of the other person. This requires us as individuals to develop connections and understanding of others as well as the ability to separate our own experiences and biases when attempting to empathize with another person. We hope that this article will provide strategies to improve our empathy and by extension our leadership ability.

Improving a Leader's Empathic Ability

Empathy is an essential competency in leadership. The ability to show empathy as a leader is correlated with leadership effectiveness (Wan Abdul Rahman and Castelli, 2013). However, there is still confusion and there are misconceptions about what empathy looks like in practice. In an excerpt from her 2009 book, The Leader as a Mensch: Become the Kind of Person Others Want to Follow, author Bruna Martinuzzi talks about practical ways that we can begin to improve our empathic ability as leaders:

• Listen to the verbal and non-verbal cues, the hidden emotions behind what is being said, and finally, the context and environment of the conversation.
• Give people their time. Do not interrupt, interject, or dismiss the thoughts and opinions of others.
• Practice the "93% rule." Dr. Albert Mehrabian from UCLA discovered that when we are discussing emotions, feelings, and attitudes, words are only 7% of the message people receive. The vast majority—the other 93%—of the message is in the tone of our voice and body language.
• Remember personal details about your employees/subordinates/volunteers. Keep track of not only their names but the names of their immediate family members (spouse/partner/kids). If possible, keep track of personal anecdotes that have come up in prior conversations.
• Be present. When conversing or interacting refrain from multitasking or using your phone.
• Use small gestures to encourage and inspire. This can be a small nod or smile to reassure another person that you are there for them.
• When giving praise and recognition be specific and genuine. More than saying good work, specifically identify the contribution of the other person and emphasize the importance of that contribution.
• Connect with your employees/subordinates/volunteers by asking about their non-work-related hobbies, interests, and goals.

Utilizing Tough Empathy in Leadership to Inspire

Empathy is often conflated with negative emotional states of compassion, sympathy, and guilt (Garner, 2009). In his article, H. C. Garner talks about empathy as an emotional connection not based on sorrow, guilt, or grief but rather on the development of mutual understanding and attunement. Part of this mutual understanding is the recognition that sometimes people need to be given what they need not what they want. This concept has been referred to as "tough empathy." This form of empathy helps to definitively separate the misconception of guilt, weakness, and sympathy associated with empathy and its true definition of meaningful interpersonal understanding and emotional attunement. When applied to leadership, tough empathy produces growth of others, builds capacity, and creates lasting bonds between a leader and their followers (Goffee and Jones, 2000).

Effective leaders motivate and inspire others. As mentioned earlier, tough empathy when implemented appropriately helps us to get the best out of others by demonstrating true care and support for others (Garner, 2009). Goffee and James,(2000) and Garner (2009) provide some best practices to help use tough empathy to motivate and inspire others as leaders:

• Be selective about showing emotions. Know when to show vulnerability, humility, and weakness.
• Utilize your intuition and act with conviction based on the information you receive, the experience you have, and the knowledge of others.
• "Care intensely" about your followers and the work you are doing. Be willing to challenge your followers but remember your purpose is toward their betterment.
• Conduct counseling sessions with followers. Set boundaries but provide a space to talk about issues related to their job and work-life balance. This will create strong bonds, mutual respect, and trust allowing you to better address future challenges.
• Be willing to "go to bat" for your followers. Show that you are committed to them. Believe in them and their work by supporting them in both good and bad times.

References

Coplan, A. (2011). Will the real empathy please stand up? A case for a narrow conceptualization. Southern Journal of Philosophy, 49(SUPPL. 1), 40–65.

Garner, H. C. (2009). Empathy: A True Leader Skill. Military Review, 89(6), 84–92.

Martinuzzi, B. (2020). What's Empathy Got to Do With It? Exercising our Thinking and Feeling Muscles. Mindtools. Retrieved November 7, 2020.

Goffee, R., and Jones, G. (2000). Why should anyone be led by you? Harvard Business Review, 78(5), 62–70.

Wan Abdul Rahman, W. A., and Castelli, P. A. (2013). The Impact of Empathy on Leadership Effectiveness among Business Leaders in the United States and Malaysia (PDF). International Journal of Economics, Business, and Management Studies, 2(3), 83–97.