Creating Dementia-Friendly Celebrations

The holidays are a time when we gather with friends and family to rekindle traditions and catch up on all that has changed over the past year. However, if you live with or care for someone with dementia, the holidays can be especially stressful. Sometimes, the added responsibilities can feel overwhelming.

Dementia experts and care agencies (such as the Alzheimer's Association) recognize this challenge and, to relieve some of the burden, have made several recommendations about how caregivers can make adjustments while still enjoying the celebration.

Focus on Your Loved One's Strengths.

The Alzheimer's Association (2024) explains that each person with dementia has different strengths and weaknesses. For example, people in the early stages of dementia may experience only minor changes, but as the disease progresses, old routines might become stress-inducing and unworkable. You likely know your loved one's situation best, so involve them in the holiday preparation as long (and as much) as they enjoy it. Give them simple tasks or invite them to watch you prepare. Ask yes/no questions or give them limited choices.

Adjust the Size and Time of the Gathering.

The Alzheimer Society of Canada (2022) suggests that hosts consider smaller gatherings, which can foster more personal interactions and keep the event from becoming overwhelming.

You should also plan to gather when the person traditionally feels fresh, rested, and aware of their surroundings. This helps them stay calm and communicate clearly. Usually, mornings or midday work best for this.

To prevent overwhelming the person, consider alternative ways to connect with others, such as through phone calls, video chats, emails, or texts.

Communicate With Your Guests.

The Alzheimer's Foundation of America (2021) encourages you to be open with guests. Ensure that everyone understands your caregiving situation. Familiarize others with your loved one's changes and capabilities. If necessary, provide a list of preferred activities and discussion topics and offer guidance on how to respond if the person with dementia behaves in an unfamiliar way. 

Provide a Peaceful, Calm, and Safe Environment.

Dignity Health (2022) recommends making the gathering as comfortable as possible for a person with dementia. Use minimal decorations and bright lights, reduce clutter, include quiet but familiar music, and make visible pathways for them to walk.

When possible, choose a room with contrasting colors and without busy patterns. Avoid using candles, blinking lights, and artificial food decorations. If it is a new location for the person, label things they might use—for example, if they need access to stored items, place representative pictures on kitchen cupboards, and label doors and drawers accordingly.

As much as you can, maintain the person's normal routine and provide them with familiar personal items to ensure they can have a relaxed and manageable time.

Finally, Dignity Health (2022) stresses the need for the host to be extra cautious when preparing for the event. Check for tripping hazards and search for and remove (or secure) dangerous items such as lit candles, sharp objects, medication, alcohol, cleaning products, laundry pods, poisonous plants, weapons, and flammable items.

Manage Gift-giving.

Both the Alzheimer's Foundation of America (2021) and The Alzheimer's Society of Canada (2022) make the following suggestions for presents:

• Presents should be meaningful for the person. For example, ask guests to consider items that encourage reminiscing (such as a photo album), something to spark childhood memories (such as a favorite toy or vintage product), comforting personal items (such as blankets), and—depending on their previous vocation—things they used to work with.
• Advise people not to gift dangerous tools, instruments, or complicated technology to a person with dementia.
• Remind guests that their best gift is spending quality time with the person, even if that time is brief.

Encourage Guests to Make Connections with Your Loved One.

Dementia researchers Dean and  Werhane (n.d.) offer strategies you might wish to share with your guests about how best to communicate with someone who has dementia.

Instruct your guests to see the person first, not their illness. Advise them to speak slowly, use simple sentences, and give the person time to process and respond. Encourage them to communicate nonverbally, too; words might be challenging for the person to remember or understand. Avoid arguing, correcting, and criticizing. Most importantly, treat the person with dignity and respect.

Don't Try to Do It All Yourself.

For caregivers, the holiday season often brings additional responsibilities and stress. Do not hesitate to ask for help and to delegate tasks to family members and friends. Remember that it is your holiday, too, so find time to spend with people who do not require your care.

While holidays with loved ones who have dementia may not look the same as past celebrations, they can still be meaningful. Simplification doesn’t have to mean sacrifice. You might discover that some of these new traditions you create are even more significant and rewarding for everyone.

References

Alzheimer Society of Canada. (2022). Visiting someone with dementia over holidays? Here are 10 tips. 

Alzheimer's Association. (2024). Holidays. 

Alzheimer's Foundation of America. (2021, November 16). Staying safe and joyful: Tips for a dementia-friendly holiday celebration [Press release]. 

Dean, P.M., & Werhane, M. (n.d.). Dementia and the holidays. 

Dignity Health. (2022). Tips for happier holidays when people have dementia.