A Skill Learned: Compassion
Research shows that during times of emergencies, pandemics, and storms people turn to each other with a sense of togetherness, empathy, and compassion. Empathy refers to our ability to take the perspective of and feel the emotions of another person, while compassion is when those feelings and thoughts include the desire to take action to help. We can help children build their intrinsic sense of compassion, which is seen emerging as young as five months when children seek out helpers, by ten months when showing empathy after someone gets hurt, and by 14 months when they physically help those around them.
Parents, caregivers, and teachers can nurture compassion can nurture compassion by the seemingly little yet extraordinary acts of compassion and kindness they demonstrate. Not only do these acts towards children help them grow into compassionate people, but it is also the best way to prevent verbal, physical, and emotional aggression from taking root.
When you engage in random acts of compassion, children are learning. When you choose your words carefully when frustrated, they are learning. When you offer assistance to someone in need, they are learning. Any time is the right time to engage in acts of service and compassion for others. Surround your family with compassionate people so they can learn from them as well. As children observe the acts of compassion around them, their intrinsic bent towards compassion will blossom.
Being compassionate to children teaches them how to be compassionate. For example, tending to a child's emotions or illness is the best way to teach them how to do the same. Point it out when you see compassionate acts on TV or in public, and then talk about what you saw to communicate that it is valued. Volunteering as a family or caring for a pet are some other ways that children can learn firsthand about being compassionate and caring.
Another learning activity you may do with children is to read books about compassion. Search the library database or your favorite book seller for great books on this topic. One of my favorites is the Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn. Or, make a bracelet reminder to prioritize kindness and make compassion a part of your everyday routine. Make a bracelet from yarn, string, embroidery floss or anything else you may have on hand. This visual reminder may even help with sibling relationships, and it can turn into a topic of conversation at mealtimes or bedtime.
Compassionate children grow into valued, respected, and extraordinary friends, co-workers, spouses, and parents. Compassion supports a positive view of oneself as well as a sense of well-being and purpose. The giver feels the satisfaction of giving and the receiver expresses appreciation and will likely reciprocate in some way, one day to someone else. Helping others generates compassion, joy, and an intrinsically good feeling.
Everyone deserves kindness, and our world needs more compassionate people. Set the example and watch it spread through your home and community as it becomes a regular part of your life and your family. Those little eyes and ears are always learning from you!
Resource: Maryam Abdullah UC Berkeley
